Which Cereal is cerealously the best
July 15, 2021
With 2020 and 2021 being years that will go down in the history books, so will the cereal that was released as well. Some people eat their cereal with ice cubes, and there’s the infamous cereal or milk first debate, but that might be the least interesting thing that’s happened in the cereal aisle in the last year.
Maybe you’ve heard: Cereal is in a weird place. Breakfast cereal as we knew it is dead. At first, brands responded with healthier options designed to compete with the green juices and avocado toasts that became popular. When that didn’t really work, they reversed course and dove into sugar, in a big way. Now consumers must deal with the results of both. As of March 2021, it’s possible to purchase cereals such as Jolly Rancher Cereal and colorful cereal loops flavored like marshmallows in a resemblance to Peeps, in the very same aisle as high-protein, “fiber twig”filled cereals like Kashi.
Raisin Bran is healthier than most, with sugared raisins serving as its most appealing feature. The bran flakes are boring, which makes sense; they’re bran flakes! And they’re presumably why the cereal’s allowed to call itself “good for hearts”. Together, the raisins-and-flakes combo really works in a granola bar sort of way, though a bowl of Raisin Bran and milk would benefit immensely from a pinch of salt.
Kashi GO used to be called Kashi GOLEAN until it rebranded in June 2019, responding to how alarming it was when a box of cereal told consumers in all caps to lose weight. It’s still the same consistency it’s always been, which includes the fiber twigs like Raisin Bran. The milk-and-bowl experience is perfectly fine: neither sweet nor salty enough, but stiffly crunchy in a way that promises longevity.
Magic Spoon is a direct to consumer cereal, as in it’s the only one here you can’t buy in any grocery store. It can be bought directly from the Magic Spoon website in packs of up to 4 boxes. It launched in 2019, “inspired by the flavors and nostalgia of Saturday-morning-cartoon cereal” but updated to be a “guilt-free treat”. The basic idea: Take the sugar cereals Gen Z and millenials love and make them keto. The Frosted variety is visually similar to Cheerios.
Original Cheerios are grainy and savory, but not in a bad way.They’re only as strong as their weakest link, so if you serve them with a plasticky kind of milk, you will not enjoy them—but if you dignify them with 4% or Oatly, you’ll find them worthwhile.
Froot Loops are iconic and perfect. They taste distinctively like chemically flavored froot, which is only a problem if you hate fun. They are colorful, which makes them more appealing and pack just the right amount of flavor.
Twinkies cereal is pellet-like, oddly powdery, and lacks creme filling, which is why I’m as shocked as you to announce that it’s actually kind of enjoyable to eat. The flavor is straight marshmallow and sugar mash-up, and that turns out to not be a totally bad thing.
Compared to cereal shaped like Twinkies, Krave is an old hat, having hit shelves in 2012. They’re the exact same size and shape as normal square cereal, except with a graham-colored exterior, and chocolate filling. Is the chocolate filling a thrilling prospect? Absolutely. Is there enough of it? No there is not.
Most live for a chocolate and peanut butter pairing and cheerios delivered. These remixed peanut butter and chocolate Cheerios lean way more toward peanut butter than chocolate, just like Reese’s Puffs, which is fine, but not good enough of the real-life pairing to live up to my dreams.
It has always been clear that no cereals are created equal, but their differences are what make them most appealing. There is a cereal for every mood you are in and every craving you have, you just have to search the shelf to find it.
My name is Maisie Jesse, I am a sophomore and this is my first year on the Talon. I joined because I love writing and informing people of important information....